Working with organizations you meet all kinds of people. There are those who step forward with genuine interest to help and learn—and then there are those whose idea of moving forward is to step over others.
You might not recognize these people at first, because they like to talk about being of service and make a show of being obliging. But their actual agenda has nothing to do with helping anyone but with covering up the limitations of their leadership.
Here are some signs of those who are busy stepping on while they move forward.
They align themselves with others because they feel alone. They like to think that if they align themselves with leaders, that makes them leaders too. But of course it doesn’t really work that way. A true leader has merits and an inner moral compass that is reflected in everything they do. True leadership is a direct reflection of character.
They take credit because they have not accomplished much on their own. We’ve all seen it happen—a team works with intelligence, imagination, and hard work, and the person at the top of the organization takes the credit. A true leader knows in their heart that anything worthwhile is done with others, and that success is shared.
They talk like leaders because they’re trying to fake it till they make it. They may be gifted writers or speakers—but when it comes to leadership in the trenches, they wouldn’t know the first thing to do. True leaders are created in the situations that are difficult—where challenges need solutions, where problems need vision—not with words.
They grab the limelight because their corner is always dark. There’s a need for attention and deferential behavior that’s grounded in a deep need to be noticed. True leaders have a light shine on them organically. They don’t chase the light or grab it—it comes to them naturally through their enthusiasm and spirit.
If your actions are about contribution to the well-being of those you come in contact with and you are a positive force, you’re a true leader.
But if your actions are only about your own personal security and benefit at the cost of others, you’re a leader who is stepping forward while stepping on people. While you may get what you want in the short run. In the long run, character and true leadership build an enduring legacy.
Lead From Within: True leaders do not focus on their own edification and glory but on helping others to succeed. They don’t need to compensate for their limitations but instead work to overcome them.
[box]Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal[/box]
Additional Reading:
• At The Risk Of Being Changed
• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing
• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You
• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
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9 Responses
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to “Make Sure You’re Stepping Forward, Not On”
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June 4, 2015
[…] Make Sure You’re Stepping Forward, Not On Written by: Lolly Daskal […]
Panteli Tritchew
02. Jun, 2015
Unfortunately, we all know people who have an insatiable need for recognition and who “grab the limelight because their corner is always dark.”
In Tibetan Buddhist tradition, there is a realm of being called “hungry ghosts” who are depicted with huge mouths and bellies, who are always eating, but never satisfied. They try to compensate the emptiness of their souls and spirits with the material world.
We need not go to Tibet to find Hungry Ghosts. 😉
Great post, Lolly.
Susan Mary Malone
02. Jun, 2015
Today’s world of social promotion fosters that grabbing “the limelight because their corner is always dark” too. We see this so often in my world (publishing), where new authors pull the ladder up behind them, taking all the glory for themselves. Some of us are working to change that and actually help new writers 🙂
But I love this. Great post, Lolly. And Panteli–I LOVE the hungry ghosts metaphor! Thank you as well.
Duncan M.
05. Jun, 2015
Just like you said, there are people who would do anything to be on top, no matter the consequences. You can see them everywhere, talking and acting like they have the best intentions. We all had to deal with such characters and at some point believed in their well-chosen words. However, a true leader motivates you, helps you learn from your mistakes and supports you not only when everything works fine, but also when the situation gets overwhelming. These are the people that we need to keep nearby.
Greg
06. Jun, 2015
Lolly, just a quick note for the great posts. Time and time again I have gleaned valuable insights from your blog. I just subscribed to your blog.
Keep up the great work!
Greg
Jacqueline
10. Jun, 2015
Great post! I continue to sharpen my leadership skills from your amazing insight,
Linda
23. Jul, 2015
An important lesson for all leaders and intending leaders. We are talking about leaders not rulers. Rulers force people to follow them while leaders are voluntarily followed. It all lies in the attitude. Nice work.
Laurent
09. Nov, 2015
Funny, this perfectly resumes the debate I had yesterday with my father where I tried to explain the difference between a leader and a dictator and the steps they take to become one or the other.
Thank you for this post, which again confirms my beliefs and adds a few more arrows to my quiver.
Laura
10. Nov, 2015
Great post Lolly…inspired by your insight to leadership and the skills it takes to be a good one. Also love the Tibetan comment from Panteli. Thanks for sharing